Yeah! I finally plucked up my courage to msg ps to meet her on fri. Haha.. That was after a long struggle for days. But I really had to talk because the situation has not been improving after a long time. So there I was on tue night praying, and the holy spirit prompted me greatly to msg ps. When I finally did, it was around 2am. For the whole night, I had very light sleep and was awaken many times. Don't know if God spoke to me, because I can't really remember if he did. However, I was indeed thinking of some stuff throughout the night, even in my dreams! Haha..
The talk went pretty well and I managed to talk through some stuff with Ps. We came to some temporaily solutions after a while. I'm really glad that I did not let the situation drag longer. Because these are lives we are dealing with and I do not think that I can do much any longer about the situation too. I mean I've pretty much tried my very best already, encouraging, talking to the person involved, praying, and taking initiative. Don't know what else I can do. Anyway, I felt much better after the talk because it was as if a huge burden was lifted from my heart. At least ps knows about the current situation now! For the rest, I'll just leave it to God and ps to handle. Yeah!
Wanna thank God for this period of time. Though it may be difficult and painful at times, God has indeed taught me many many things. One of the main thing that I have learnt and come to realise is that the Holy Spirit is indeed my counsellor and helper. On Sunday evening, God led me to the article dated April 22 from the book 'My upmost for his highest'. The article really spoke to me. It was as if (and I know it is) the entire article was written years back for me today:)
God made me stand very much alone during this period of time. So many disappointments and not much encouragement (expt for that one time when God did during service- he said "Well done, my good and faithful servant! (but that was quite some time ago)). Nobody to help me with my walk with God. Well, almost. But thank God for some people to whom God has put strategically in my life to ensure that I didn't totally was without nobody to talk to. People to whom used to be lights flicker out and turned away. It wasn't easy being here alone. But the Lord showed me that he stood by me and strengthened me. That he was testing me to find out if I truly love him with all my heart and soul (Deut 13:3). But I stood the test. I learnt that I shouldn't be only looking for flickering lights that may go off, but to the light that never fails. Yes, "important" individuals may move away, and God showed me that they were meant to go, so that the only thing left for me is to look into the face of God himself. I was practically forced to seek the Lord for everything I do because I had no one to confirm if my decisions were correct.
I know that His words to me is true. That He is training me up and building my faith first before he sends me to the nations! Because out there, it'll be a tougher battle as I may face strong persecutions and I need to be able to stand firm in my faith. It was actually a great test of what motivates me to come to church every sunday. Is it because I want to know God, worship and listen to his words or because I just want company. I'm glad that I found out the answer is the earlier one.
I've come to know God so much more now. My relationship with Him has deepened and I've caught His heatbeat for the lost and suffering ever so much more. Also, I've got a fire in me to want to know more about God and his words. Hallelujah! Thank God that he allowed me to attend Bibiology & Christology. Thank you God for confirming to me that the bible is extremely authentic and canonical. I love you and your word ever so much!!! Please reveal yourself more to me this week and forever more! Amen!
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