A decision so tough

I really want to join MEET. Its something in which I really feel for. I want to learn more about God's heart for the nations. I want to grow in this area. I really want to be discipled and mentored in this period of my life of learning how to serve the nations. I see the opportunities out there. I know deep in my heart what God has called me to do. Its a call so deep, personal and strong... I can't really express how I'm feeling now. Torn in between. Church is always there. But this type of opportunites only comes once in a blue moon. Seen my time-table for the rest of the years. Year 1 seems to be the best time to go though. Spoke to my ps abt this. But she's not too keen on me joining. She explained to me the reason already, in which I do understand where she's coming from. But sigh, her requests are quite hard to meet. Why? Because I do need to go for all the meetings and trainings unless I have valid reasons such as clinicals. If not, I also don't want to miss out on the trainings. That means I have to sacrifice some church activities, in which I don't really mind, cos they always have lots of things lined up every year.

Sigh, I guess I just have to submit to the leadership and authority's decision. Even when she says that it may be possible provided I promise her about certain conditions, I know that she still doesn't want me to go. Know its for my own good, but somehow, I still think that the benefits of going outweighs the sacrifices and cons in going. Yes, its true. I don't like to wait. I've waited for 2 over years for this opportunity, but yet I can't really go for it. It seems so near, yet so far. Well, all I can say is "Lord, if this is the right time, open the path for me and send me. But if it isn't in your plan that I go, then hold me back and train me up. I'll only go when you tell me to. Although its hard to wait upon you, I'll do that because I trust in you and in your timing for me.