He challenges, probes my heart, pushes me, yet always encouraging and never fails to re-ignite a hope in me. He is someone too, who always believes in me.
He would always talk to us just like how a Godly father would. He speaks with a heart of a father. More than that, he speaks so much through his own life. There is always so much impartation that he releases whenever he shares with us his personal journey with the Lord. It never fails to inspire and encourage me :)
My spiritual father speaks with great depth. He is someone who has been through much and struggled lots in his own personal walk with God as well as in winning battles for the Lord. He is not perfect, definately. But seeing how he much he has grown and even in hearing him share his life with us always encourages me as I see how much change God has done in his life. He is truly someone who goes from strength to strength each day. He takes many mountains for God. Seeing him fight so many battles and overcoming them, I noticed something in-between too. God uses the difficult times and challenges to break him. But each time he is broken a little more, his ministry also becomes a little more annointed. I learnt... Brokeness is an essential part of growth and a neccessary season to go through before a breakthrough can be seen.
On sunday, God spoke through S dad to encourage me to take on greater challenges for the Lord. God is just so amazing. Throughout the past 2-3 weeks, God kept bringing me back to Psalm 84. Just like S dad, I too have been mediating much upon this psalm. It is a psalm that spoke so much to me. As I prayed for my PG and for NM, God brought back this psalm for me to share with them. I knew it was from God. I knew because psalm 84 contains the answers to the cries of many hearts in NM.
As what I have learnt through S dad and also in my experience sharing in small groups, I need to preach from my heart. I need to respond to the message that I intend to share. Respond, I did. God touched me, broke me and did a deep new work in my life before I could share Psalms 84 in a way that will release the presence and power of God.
We never stop growing. We never stop learning. Everyday, we've got to be better than the previous day.
Psalms 84 says
" Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca, they make it into a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion".
You know, being a prilgrim for the Lord means dying with unfulfilled dreams. A prilgrim will die with uncomplete assignments. A prilgrim will die without truly seeing success in his life. Why is this so?
A prilgrim's dream is an eternal dream. It is a dream for God. A dream that cannot be fulfilled until Jesus comes back again.
A prilgrim lives for the kingdom of God. He/She is always on the move. A pilgrim don't hold on to past successes or failures. A prilgrim only holds on to God who is his/her ultimate hope.
There is bound to be many valleys of Baca that we'll have to go through as we make ourselves available for God to use (I have personally encountered them and can testify to that). But being a pilgrim means not being tied down by all the fears and failures we have. We need to have a mindset that looks back, not to be parlysed by fear, but to learn precious lessons from past failures and then move on to the next assignment God has for us.
My spiritual dad's very own words that spoke deeply into my heart:
"We got to live today in the light of tomorrow.
God has new things to teach us this day.
We must not be bogged down by the valley of Baca. We'll get out of it! But the tears that we shed will become a place of spring. It is only a stepping stone to something more glorious. "
This reminder is so timely. A time when I felt so inadequate in the things God has called me to do... A reminder too, that comes with a bigger reminder from God. "I am training you for bigger battles ahead."
I have many dreams for God. Sometimes, these dreams are so big they overwhelm me. As I strive make these dreams become a reality, there are times when I become so tired and discouraged. But it is this hope that has always kept me going. (That's why my msn nick is ' What God has kept for me, it can never be taken away. I know I am in training' :)
I am called for great things. Yes, I know it. How do I know? Well, for one, this has been confirmed through many means, the most vivid one being my baptism experience. But the matter of fact is, I just know. Deep down within me. How do I know? I just know. God told me!
God called me for great things. And for me to do that assignment well without breaking me, God has put me in his very own training manual to train me up so that I'll grow in every area to be ready for the task he has in mind for me. ( pls note: God has made everybody different. Everyone is called to different things. No one person is greater than the other in God's eyes. If God has called you into ordinariness, know that God accomplishes some of his most imp works through ordinary ppl doing ordinary things too!) I know that the assignment ahead of me requires me to be very strong in my walk with God. That means, going through more and more valleys of Baca!
On Sunday, God challenged me to say this this to him "God, give me a mountain and I'll take it for you." My heart yearned for it, but the words couldn't get past my mouth. I had difficulty too, singing songs which contain these meaning. Why? Because I know from experience that God takes my innocent prayers seriously. I know that when I tell God, " Give me a mountain", God WILL give it to me. And that comes with it lots of spiritual battles and a great deal of time in Baca. I know that my heart needed to ready to battle all these. I just wasn't ready. But somehow, by God's grace, I responded to him once again just this week, ready to give of myself once again for God to use in anyway he wishes to.
There's one thing that God has always been challenging me to do. And its this challenge that I've been struggling with for the past few months. It is a call that shakes me from my inmost being. A call so strong, I cannot not ignore. Yet, it is also a call for sacrifice. Once taken up, it means going through many valleys of Baca on my own so as to allow God to create the depth in me for me to do that purpose.
But after my little session with spiritual dad, my heart was renewed to take up this challenge once again. Yes, I'll be a pilgrim. Yes, I'll keep moving. Yes, I'll keep learning. I'll go from strength to strength, till I appear before God in Zion!
Thank you, Spiritual Dad, for always being there to bring an encouraging word and for always pointing me back to God. Thank you for availing yourself and sacrificing so much for us too. Thank you for your tears and times in the valley of Baca where you had to fight alone for our sake. Thank you for leading by example, even as you call us to follow you. Thank you for modelling your life after Jesus, such that I can confidently follow you as you follow after Jesus. Thank you, SP! Thank you, for being couragous enough to be all that God has called you to be :)
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