This week has been a very emotional week. God has recently been speaking to me much. Many flashbacks, thoughts etc... The qn, " What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ" caught my attention. For a moment, I was just overwhelmed by emotions. I don't know how to answer it. I don't have words to describe it. Tears just flow everytime I think about it. Only one word comes into my mind. "Everything". And that word by itself invokes so much emotions, I can't even express it.
I'm not excited. I can't seem to be excited. At least not for now. Maybe seconds before baptism? Heh... But its more of the significance of it all that is now overwhelming me. Am I ready for baptism? My answer is no. There's just so much to pray about, so many things that I want to tell God before tmr. It seems to feel almost like a marriage! Haha... If I was baptised during my first month as a new Christian, I would just go through the process without much thought. But going through it now will be so different. It means so much more to me now.
The old has passed, the new has come. I am resurrected with Christ. I am now a disciple of Christ. These phrases ain't just phrases anymore. They're my life, my being, my everything. Its not easy, but its such a great privilege n honor to do so. It talks so much of God's grace n mercy, his love, his character.. Somehow, its just so overwhelming.
I'll be spending the rest of my day today really just reflecting and having a time of solitude. Hopefully, I can be ready by tomorrow for my Big day...
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