31 August

3.5 hrs more to baptism. I’m getting excited. My mind can think of nothing except about baptism. My heart starts beating faster. A sense of nervousness overpowers me. Boy, it does feel so much like a marriage… Invitations have been sent out. Family and friends have been told. Baptism has been the talk of this week. Somehow, the greatest excitement isn't who will turn up, but the significance of the occasion which will change the course of my life...

Flashbacks to the past…
How I first came to know Christ. The infant days of asking how to pray, how do I listen to God, what is QT…

Flipping through my journals throughout the years, my eye landed on one single entry:
31 August 2003-
The significant day when I went up to the altar and gave my all to the Lord. Recieving Christ is one thing, but really giving my all to God is yet another thing. Suddenly, a sense of excitement and awe flooded through me as I remembered what day it is today- 31 August 2007!
I remembered Ps Khong's words that very day. " You may not fully understand the impact of this decision that you are making. But years down the road, you will look back and realise that this is the best decision you would have ever made".
Exactly 4 years has passed since that very day. I may not have understood then what I was in for, but what really strikes me now is the fact that God really did take that commitment and dedication seriously. From the very day that I said "Take my all", God took my word for it, placed a mark and seal on me. August 31 2003, I have been set apart for God…

Since that day, many trials and stifles came along. The little quarrels I had with God. The disappointments, fears and running back to God. The many lessons learnt along the way. The gentleness of Christ through the times of falling, picking up, brushing of bruised, skinned knees and encouragement to keep me going.

I will never forsake you

I wandered in the dark
Until Jesus came to me
His stark light overpowering,
My darkness hurriedly flew.

Walking with the Lord…
I feel safe
Safe in his arms.
I say,
Never ever walking alone,
Always Jesus walking beside.
- 4 Oct’03

Infant years soon faded away. Childlike behaviour soon gave way to more mature ways. The time of transiting from being a receiver to a giver. The day I stepped into ministry. His promises, dreams, hopes, rhema words… They were always my source of strength and focus. The day when he called me into serving the nations…. The day when I finally knew my life mission statement “ To serve the sick, poor and injured”. The day I caught the G12 vision. The times of trying to take things into my own hands and learning to let go. The training and breaking of heart…

The awakening of ambition

Submit your goals & desires to me
For I yearn
But be patient and trust in me
To be sure what I will give you
Will be the very best

So, I pray tonight Lord.
I pray that you will grant me the grace to wait
To trust in you alone
Lest I set goals outside your will
That I with zeal pursue
-27/2/04

Then came the day when he birthed new dreams in me. Dreams and visions I saw so clearly. His great plan for me and the nations. The anointing of a healer. The anointing to be a prophet to the nations. The blessings to be a blesser. The privilege of being able to partner him for his great work. The calling so strong and deep...

I am humbled. Totally humbled. Humbled by the death of Christ. Humbled by His resurrection. Humbled by His calling of an unworthy person into kingdom purposes. Humbled by my privilege to be his disciple.

The old has passed, the new has come. I am resurrected with Christ. I am now a disciple of Christ. These phrases ain't just phrases anymore. They're my life, my being, my everything. Somehow, its just so overwhelming…